


he doesn't even have facial muscles

by davekats



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: not that this is skeleporn, papyrus is a dork, reader needs to stop wondering about how the fuck skeletons work, really dumb puns, reeeaaaally bad backstory stuff, skeleton fuckers unite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5009305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/davekats/pseuds/davekats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which you internally question how your skeleton friends function and end up bone deep in love with one of them</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write undertale bc i love sans/reader and my friend gave me a prompt that doesnt even apply yet. @jessie thx

There isn’t really any discernible point at which you became best friends with two skeleton brothers. It just happened, and you’d always wonder what choices you made to lead you to them. The friendship began with just casual chatting whenever you ran into each other around town, and ended with you at their house every night, eating mediocre (to be generous) spaghetti and watching bad movies on their change-filled couch. It was a life that you’d never expected to lead, and you had absolutely no qualms. 

Papyrus was a good friend. He called and texted you fairly often and was always available to hang out. Whenever you came over he’d cook, and while his food was rarely edible the sentiment was still touching. His excitement was endearing, and while his constant screaming was startling at first, you were almost completely used to it now. 

Sans was almost the opposite. He was calmer and somehow more collected, though his weird ketchup love and joking nature made him approachable and strangely charismatic. He was someone you could joke with about Papyrus, and you went out for dinner together often because of his brother’s cooking misadventures. The two of you got along well, and you’d felt a connection though you couldn’t say exactly what it was.

Your friendship with them was easy and comfortable, and there had never been any doubts about how much you cared about them nor any sudden developments and complicated feelings. At least, there hadn’t been until one night.

Your turmoil began when the three of you decided to rewatch Con Air. Papyrus was the only one who hadn’t seen the movie, and jumped at the opportunity once you revealed that you owned the dvd and told him that it was the best bad movie you’d ever seen. Around the beginning of the night Papyrus had been making popcorn for everyone as you and Sans fought for the remote and made Nicholas Cage impressions, quoting the iconic lines. 

Sans grabbed for the remote in your hand, and you shook your head dramatically, holding it out of his reach. “Sorry boss, but there's only two men I trust. One of them's me. The other's not you.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head at your delivery of the quote, and Papyrus returned, flopping on the couch between you and Sans. He lifted the bowl of popcorn above his head with a triumphant grin. “PAPYRUS THE GREAT HAS ACQUIRED THE SNACK!”

“Pap, just start the movie.”

The opening scene began, and you reached into the bowl for popcorn without looking. You popped a piece in your mouth before choking immediately. Is this burned? 

Sans and Papyrus turn, looking at you cough for air. Sans looks vaguely concerned while Papyrus’s eyes are wide with worry.

“Human! Are you alright?” His boney fingers grip the bowl with so much force that you just can’t help but wonder. You really don’t understand how it doesn’t slip into the air with the lack of grip. Unless skeleton fingers somehow can grip things? What a mystery.

You cough a little more before waving your hand. “No, I’m-I’m good. Just, uh, popcorn is a little…burned.”

You flinch into the air as Papyrus comically throws his arms in the air with an upset yell. “What a…what a _boner_!”

Your throat is sore and your mouth tastes of ash, but you still laugh immediately. Sans glances at you, and grins at your mirth. You try to stop laughing, but all you can hear in your mind is Papyrus yelling “boner” in the most agitated way ever. 

Sans is quiet as he moves next to you, though his grin is as big as usual. “Sorry my brother’s such a… _bone_ head.”

You snort at the pun as your hysteria dies down, and he pats your back lightly. “Hey, Sans,” you start. He looks at you expectantly and you can’t stop the mischievous grin that makes its way onto your face. “This sure seems like it’s going _tibia_ fun night.”

Your breath catches as his grin widens to the biggest you’ve ever seen and he gives you a look so affectionate you find yourself wondering why you aren’t swooning into his arms at this very second. Time seems to stop and you’re acutely aware of your breathing and the beats that your heart is skipping.  

You’re brought out of your strange trance when you hear him repeating your name. You shake your head to clear your thoughts and put on a smile as he jokes about you spacing out worse than he does considering he literally has no brain.

The rest of the night passes with Papyrus constantly pausing the movie to ask if you’re okay, and if his popcorn did something to your human body because wow your face is as red as the sauce he uses to cook his amazingly delicious spaghetti. All you can do it wave at him and reassure him that you’ll live regardless of how terrifyingly burnt the popcorn was. You only look at Sans when he addresses you, and after a while he starts giving you slightly confused looks due to your rushed replies. On one hand you’re concerned about his reaction to _your_ reaction to him, and on the other you’re just wondering how these two have such varying expressions when they are literally made of bone.

The movie ends and you rush home almost immediately, yet again reassuring Papyrus that you’ll be fine and giving an awkward wave and smile to Sans, who returns the wave and smile but with an new emotion that you’ve never seen and can’t exactly read. The walk home is pleasant though cold, but you can’t complain about the cold seeing as it was your decision to even live in Snowdin.

As you get inside and close your door, you shake off snow and shrug off your thick winter wear, making your way into the kitchen to grab a glass of water before you pass out on the cough. You’re exhausted, and you don’t even know why. Maybe it was all that thinking you did during the movie. All the conflicting emotions threw you off so bad you almost didn’t cry at the ending of Con Air, and you _always_ cry. You lie down in bed, thinking of everything that happened over the course of the day, though you only really think about Sans’ grin as you made that bone joke.

You haven’t felt like this about anyone in years, much less a skeleton. What did you do in your life to lead you to feel this way? Your hands fly to your face and you scream into your palms at the acceptance that _oh my God_ you want to bone your skeleton best friend. You can’t help but dryly laugh as you think about how Sans would feel about your choice of words, and you fall asleep thinking about his grin and how you’ve really made a boner this time. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you're hot and you're cold, you want to see your skeleton crush yet you don't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to set the scene and ended up writing way too much. confliction galore
> 
> (thanks to everyone who gave kudos and commented! it means so much to me and omg i didnt expect people to like this dumb fic this much aaahhhhhhhh)
> 
> (ch. 2 on tumblr: http://skelebr0s.tumblr.com/post/131404459000/sansreader-fic)

You wake up in the morning to an incessant buzzing coming from your phone. You tiredly chuckle as you scroll down the notifications that are increasing by the second, and read the message previews as you walk to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Papyrus is hysterical with worrying about you regardless of your insistence that you’re fine. Half of his messages are him demanding to know if you’re alive, and the other half are selfies with him looking sadly into the camera. You laugh and unlock your phone, tapping on his icon to get rid of the 100 notifications that he’s plagued you with.

You place your phone down for a few seconds so you can chug water, and pick it up to see at least five new texts.

“HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU NOT REPLYING.”

“HUMAN, WHAT HAPPENED.”  
“ARE YOU OVERWHELMED BY MY CONCERN?”

You smile at the last two texts, which are photos of his face twisted into a comically exaggerated frown that is probably completely sincere, knowing Papyrus. You shoot off a quick affirmation of your health, and he sends back a few pictures of him smiling in sunglasses with a paragraph about how cool he is for nursing you back to health through sheer power of will. After a few more messages about how you really are fine and thanks for worrying, you place your phone on your bed and go to shower.

The water is hot, something you’re especially grateful for after the freezing cold air that seeps into your room every morning. You’re still smiling, thinking of Papyrus’s concern for you. You always have a good time when you’re with them, just joking around and watching movies. You finish up your shower, toweling your hair off and pulling on some comfortable clothes.

A tiny bell noise goes off across the room, and you go to your phone, picking it up. You unlock it without looking, expecting another message from Papyrus, but as you see the sender you freeze. Sans’s contact photo is a picture you snapped of him when you all went out to the actual movies once. He’s laughing at Papyrus, his eyes almost closed and his head thrown back. You’d all been kicked out of the theater because Papyrus had gotten too involved in the movie and had started screaming. It was the main reason you all watched movies at their house, rather than outside around others. Not everyone was as accepting of his quirks as you and Sans, regardless of his status as the Royal Guard Captain.

You look at Sans’s message for about five minutes, not actually reading it but just staring at the short text.

“grillbys at 8? y/n”

You don’t know what to think. It’s not like this is the first time he’s asked you out to dinner; you both go out often enough that random texts like this aren’t usually stressful.Ever since your weird emotional revelation the other night though, you’ve felt strange about Sans. Liking your best friend was something you’d never really experienced, and you cared about the two way too much to do anything about your crush lest you ruin your relationship with both of them.

Sans probably didn’t even like you in that way. You were just close friends, and that was how it should stay. Even as you tried to convince yourself that nothing would change—that nothing could change—you still felt an aching in your bones (wow) to be near him regardless of how you felt. After all, your friendship was significantly more important than some crush that developed seemingly out of nowhere. 

Your phone buzzes again, and you flush with embarrassment when you see Sans’s follow up text.

“if you don’t want to its cool tbh”

You start to reply when you’re interrupted by another text.

“you don’t need to worry about hurting my feelings, nothing gets under my skin.”

“mainly because i literally don’t have any”

You don’t even know what to say. What a nerd. You simply reply with “see you at 8” and put your phone so you can put your head in your hands. This was either going to be normal or a complete disaster, and it was all up to you to not destroy your friendship. 

The pressure is almost stifling, and you open a window to get some cold air into your suddenly burning hot room. Funny, you were literally just complaining about it being too cold and now you’re almost literally burning up. God, you wish you were literally burning up. Then you wouldn’t have to go to this dinner and embarrass yourself.

Your phone rings again, and yet again you’re plagued with Sans.

“k pick you up at 7”

A groan automatically leaves your mouth, and you slump onto the ground, leaning on your bed. It isn’t like you don’t want to see Sans, in fact, it’s the only thing you want right now. The problem is just now that you’ve come into the realization that you’re hardcore crushing on your best friend, you’ll have no idea how to act around him. Ugh. Crushes are hell.

You pull yourself up and drag yourself to your closet to pick your outfit because anything’s more productive than moping around, and you don't want to be freaking out about your outfit ten minutes before you meet. You lay out your favorite yet most comfortable outfit, because while you want to dress to impress there is the small possibility you’ll run out crying and that is an outcome you are _not_ going to want to be in fancy clothes for.

After throwing the clothes on your bed you flop down next to them, setting an alarm on your phone for an hour before you leave. A nap seems like the perfect solution to calm your jittery nerves. You fall asleep almost immediately and dream about fire and skeletons. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear i wont end all these chapters with sleeping. more sans next chap tho, get ready for FLUFF and STRESS


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which you cant set an alarm for shit and get really flustered like, every 2 seconds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry ive been gone! had massive writers block on this, like it was insane. i pounded this out right now tho and its 12:15 and im regretting my life but i NEED to get this out bc yall deserve it for supporting smol skeleton love.

You’re woken up by a cold, hard, hand on your shoulder. You groan, burrowing into your pillow to try and fall back asleep before you suddenly remember that you live alone. You shoot up, scrambling across your bed before you recognize the intruder and flush in embarrassment. 

“Sans?” You glance at your phone. It’s 6:30, and you feel a rush of shame come upon you. Why didn’t your alarm go off? Did you sleep through it? You look back at the skeleton by your bed, and your hands cover your face. “I’m so sorry.”

He shrugs, his ever-present smile seemingly nonchalant as ever. “It’s no big deal.” 

You drag your feet out of bed, hands in your hair as you try not to freak out. “Do you like, want water? Soda?” God, what do skeletons even drink? _How_ do skeletons even drink?

Sans shrugs again, taking a step back. “I’m just gonna go wait out there. You can get ready and stuff.” 

Before you can even open your mouth to reply, he’s gone. Literally. In the blink of an eye, he’s gone from standing right in front of you to slouching on your couch right in the middle of your living room. Geez. Papyrus may complain about Sans lounging around everywhere, but you have to admit he sure can move disturbingly fast when he wants. A scenario pops into your mind of Sans using that speed to push you against a wall and kiss you, before you shake your head, blushing. That’s _not_ a thought you want to have right before you go to dinner with him. Additionally, how would he even kiss you? Would he smash his skull against your teeth? You’re angry at how you probably wouldn’t mind.

“You ok?”

Sans is looking at you from his spot on your couch, his expression as amused as a flesh and muscle-less skull can possibly look. You just slam your door in response, and hear his deep chuckle through the door. A warm feeling in your stomach blooms at the sound, and you are _so angry_ about how completely gone you are for this lazy sack of bones.

Changing doesn’t take long, since you chose your outfit before you passed out, but you still take a while to prepare. While you logically know this isn’t a date (since the two of you are just _friends_ ) you still can’t help but worry if you’re dressed appropriately. You especially fuss with your hair, and while you know Sans probably won’t judge you because y’know, he _has no hair_ , you’re still especially conscious of it. In the end you just leave it how you normally do. You don’t want him to think you’re trying too hard and making this dinner into more than it is. 

You walk out into your living room, stopping next to your couch where a tiny skeleton is sitting. You start to say something, but notice that Sans’s eyes are dark, which you guess means he’s asleep? A small smile unintentionally makes its way onto your face as you watch him rest. His jacket moves as if he’s breathing, even though he has no lungs and doesn’t need to breathe. At least, you don’t _think_ he needs to breathe? God. Skeletons, right?  

Suddenly two lights flash into his sockets, and you see him looking right at you. You can feel your face start to flush, and you straighten up, looking away and rubbing at the back of your neck like a complete nerd. 

“You look nice.” he says sincerely, and your heart literally skips a beat. _God_ you want to smash that grinning face against your own .

You choose not to reply with a thanks, because you have your dignity to maintain and also you think you might actually start crying. “Get up, lazybones,” you grumble, making a point not to look at him even though you know for a fact you’re as red as the damn ketchup Sans probably has in his coat.

He stands, stretching his limbs out. You hear popping noises, and you use sheer power of Determination to not wonder how his stretching even works. However, in refusing to contemplate the workings of your friend, you end up looking right at him. He’s smiling and you want to die.

“Well? Lazybones is up and ready.” he grins, and it’s as sincere and affectionate as it was the night before. 

Sans holds out his arm for you to take, and as you link with him the only thought on your mind is exactly how boned you are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rly tho thanks to everyone who subscribed and favd and bookmarked and everything omg it really means SO MUCH. you guys are the tru mvps. anyways ill try to crank out a legit extra long chapter to make up for my absence so keep an eye out in the next week or so! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where a walk to grillby's takes way too long, not that you're super complaining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow..hi..it's been a While..lol
> 
> thanks so much to everyone who commented and left kudos over this past year and so, haha. you're all what inspired me to try and finish this fic! i fell out of undertale due to reasons and don't feel the same way about sans as i used to, but still enjoy this story to some extent and want to finish it.
> 
> disclaimer, i havent written since? the last chapter of this fic, haha. i'm really sorry if it sucks >//////>
> 
> thank you all for the wait. i hope you enjoy my attempts :') <3

You and Sans walk out of your apartment, arms linked, and continue outside. You expect him to stop and do his mojo thing to teleport you, but instead he keeps his eyes ahead, his bony legs  walking down the street. He doesn’t move to meet your eyes even though you know he can feel your gaze on him, and you take a shaky breath, opening your mouth to ask what’s happening.

Before you can say anything, Sans looks at you. “I was thinking we could take the scenic route today.” When you don’t say anything, his grin stretches, almost panicked. “I mean, if you want. We could take the shortcut if you want, I just thought-“

“It’s fine,” you interrupt, not wanting him to freak out. “I’m fine.”

He smiles, a little embarrassed that you saw him almost freak out. “That’s, uh, good then.”

You both keep walking, and you risk a glance at Sans. He seems relieved that you didn’t fight him on taking the scenic route. You start to wonder exactly why he decided to do this, before deciding against it. It’s too nice of a gesture for you to read into it and ruin this for the both of you.

The air is cold, which doesn’t surprise you since you’re in Snowdin, but it’s surprisingly refreshing and calming to your flushed cheeks and spinning head. The two of you walk in relative silence, the only sound being the crunching of snow beneath your feet and your breath. You breathe out, and smile at the steam seemingly escaping your lips. You almost turn to Sans to make a joke, before realizing he doesn’t have to actually breathe. Fucking skeletons.

You feel a gentle tug on your arm, and look up at Sans. “What’s up?" 

He changes direction, walking down what honestly looks like an alley. You’re…kinda concerned. However, as your feet move you realize that you trust him more than you’d previously thought. After all, he’s one of your best friends. You honestly feel like you could confide in him about almost anything. Except of course, your massive crush on him. Dammit.

The alley gets darker as you keep walking, letting Sans guide you, since skeletons have night vision or something. Just as you’re about to comment about not being able to see like, anything, you see a light beside you. You turn your head, and whatever you were about to comment is taken away, as is your breath.

Sans is looking forward as he walks through the alley, his eye sockets glowing a brilliant blue. You’ve seen the lights in his eyes before, though you’ve long written them off as some monster quirk you’ll never understand and never ask about at the risk of sounding insensitive.

Your eyes are drawn to the light emanating from him, illuminating the area and casting shadows on his face. You can’t look away, no matter how much the back of your head is yelling to. Soon he turns his head, his ever-present grin pointed at you. “Like what you see?”

There aren’t words you have prepared for the question other than, “Yeah.”

 His grin wavers a little, looking more embarrassed than casual now. Suddenly whatever trance you were under breaks, and you feel your cheeks flush again, which has you wondering when you aren’t blushing around this damn skeleton anymore. 

“I uh, I just thought you looked pretty cool with the lights and stuff,” you stammer out, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

His smile is still embarrassed, but he looks a little pleased. “Oh, uh, okay. Thanks, buddy.”

You both drop the matter pretty quickly after that, something you’re grateful for as the walk moves along. Just as you’re about to question how much longer until you reach Grillby’s, he speaks up.

“I know I said it’d be scenic, but uh, sorry it’s taking a while. I wanted to stop somewhere before we got food.”

That explains the long walk. “It’s alright,” you reassure him, looking around. It’s obvious you aren’t in Snowdin anymore, judging from the lack of snow and dark ground beneath you. Are you in Waterfall?

Sans slows his pace, and you see a clearing of sorts through a cave opening. You both step through into a spacious area. Beyond where you stand are pools glimmering, with thin patches of ground crossing around, connecting small islands. Echo flowers whisper to each other, giving you a calming feeling.

“Uh, do you like it?” you hear Sans ask.

“It’s beautiful,” you breathe, staring out into Waterfall’s pools and the glowing flowers that grow from the depth, swaying in a gentle breeze that gives you goosebumps and cools you from the heat that’s been building in your body all night.

“Yeah,” Sans replies, and you turn your head to look at him. Your eyes meet, and his gaze doesn’t waver as he continues,“It really is.”

The heat that’d started to subside returns immediately, your whole body feeling like you’re at Undyne’s home for one of her infamous cooking lessons and you’re turning up the stove at spearpoint. What little composure you had crumbles as you stare into his glowing eyes, and you wonder how small lights in an eyesocket can manage to look so sincere.

It feels like steam is literally rolling off your body as you finally break the connection, looking out into the pools for a second to calm yourself. You turn back, your mouth open to say something, _anything_ , but Sans isn’t there anymore.

“Ready to go, pal?” his voice calls, and you turn to see him in the entrance to the cave, an arm already outstretched to you.

The walk back is silent, but amicable. Sans seems to use a shortcut, since the walk isn’t nearly as far as you thought it would be. You don’t think you’ll discus what happened on this excursion anytime soon, which is probably both good and bad for your heart.

Either way, something feels different between the two of you. And considering how boned you are, you hope the change is for the better.


End file.
